Dogs. Yes, Dogs.

If you had a dog, what would you call it? I would call mine something cool, like Turnip or Smelly Face, or That Dog. Yeah. Just thought you should know.

Today I Did Nothing, I Thought About The Weekend.

Recently we've started to be given far more homework than we have in previous months and I'm finding it hard to keep up with it all. I don't really see the point. We spend most of our time at school just sitting around. Like today, I literally, and I'm not even exaggerating, did nothing but share some small talk and move between classes. I just sat around. Yet we get set hours of homework? Surely we could be doing the work in class time? Like now, I'm supposed to be completing a matrix, well first finding out what a matrix is, then doing an entire mock exam and writing a case study. That's all for just one subject. I understand that realistically it's not that much work but compared the amount of work I'm expected to do at school? It's like a whole dissertation. You can see my frustration. Well, probably not, I'm a stroppy teen. You probably think I'm just complaining again. Which I am.

I'm not sure if you caught it, but basically, I'm procrastination RN, or even right now for you non-chavs out there.

Oh and I've just found out I need to do some logs as well. What is a log I here you ask? Well, you have to write down exactly what you did in a lesson in chronological order, and say exactly what you were thinking at every single second of each minute. As you can image, it's a very tedious job and a lot of it is made up seeing as you can't write: Today we did nothing, I thought about the weekend. Imagination? Kick in now. Please?

Have you seen The Fat Fighters, Channel 4? It's good. Watch it.

I got a gym membership today, which I guess is sort of related? Not that you care. I like the gym. Although, it is the epitome of embarrassment. Meh, it's gotta be done aye?

Right, I've got work to be getting on with, so GO AWAY. I blame you for my failure.

Awkward Donkey. - who likes goats.

I'm Just Popping To The Store Love, We've Run Out Of Awkward Teenagers.

BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE

So, I was at school today and a girl walked past in the corridor shouting and it made me realise quite how stupid some people really are. At school you have a wide range of people all forced to get along while they make that awkward transition from a child to an adult. It's basically like the place you are forced to go everyday because there is nowhere else to 'store' you. You spend all day wasting time until you can get home and waste time preparing for another waste of time day, until it's the weekend, when you waste all of your time because realistically, when you take out the hours needed for eating sleeping and social networking - which is obviously of vital importance - what can one achieve in just two days of holiday? Basically, my point is, school is just a place where you waste 5 years cooped up with some of the most awful human beings on the planet as they make crude jokes and prey on the weakest whilst trying, and failing miserably to make themselves look good in front of the strongest.

SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE

So anyway, there are some people at school, and you'll probably recognise the type, who think they are the coolest people who have ever graced the planet with their presence. These are the people who backchat teachers, are rude to their friends, vandalise and just generally run a riot. They're the kind of people who end up with a broken nose and a black eye the minute they get to college. They think that they're about 36 years of age and that smoking is the coolest thing since Elvis. The girl in question was one of these kind of people. She went stomping down the corridor and bellowed:

"Oh my Christ ! I need an effing lemsip."

I'll wait whilst you read that again. .. A lemsip? This was her way of asserting her authority amongst her friends? A lemsip.

HERE I STAND, LOOK AROUND

For a start, her plan to make herself look like Mrs Lord Chavvy McChav Chav Pants failed because she ended up just quoting the mum from Gavin and Stacey.
Secondly, a lemsip. I don't even think I need to expand. I mean, a fag or something? Maybe. But a lemsip?? - Yes, that even deserved a double question mark.
Thirdly, was it really necessary to add half a swear word into that sentence? She's obviously one of them people who are new to swearing and so just swears inappropriately at every single oppertunity at the expense of their reputation, and everyone else's sanity.

To my surprise, her 'friends' seemed to be impressed?

So look out everyone, lemsip, coming to a street corner near you. Keep your kids at home there will be paracetamol addled teens littering your street, but at least they won't complain of having a headache.

Awkward Donkey.

Wait, You Killed A Honey Badger?

You know them people who go on and on about their endless accomplishments? Like how just last week they got to the top of Mt. Everest on a unicycle or how they got up early to slay the honey badger that's been trampling on their immaculately kept posies in the garden using only their bare hands?

"Oh yes, I've just back from doing the three peak challenge with pneumonia and a broken leg, but I'm still battling on! What have you recently accomplished?"

Did you really? That's nothing, I got out of bed on time this morning? I think I win.


These people are obnoxious. They thrive on being better than us normal people.

"I just caught a serial killer using my dashing good looks and my cunning intelligence."

Oh did you? Well I just beat my sister at a game of cludeo so I think we're on a Parr.


I don't mind achievement, don't get me wrong, but endless bragging? There's only so many times your acquaintances can say, "Oh really? Well Done" when you put their lives to shame during a casual conversation so if you're one of these people, GET OVER YOURSELF!

Climb Mount Everest if you wish, I don't care, but I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT!

Yours, an annoyed Awkward Donkey.

So, Uhrm yeah. Hi.

Right okay. I'm sat here listening to a bit of Queen. - Just in case you were wondering.

You know when someone hasn't posted for a while? Like on a blog or even just twitter? Sometimes they post a little sorry post. Something that goes along the lines of: "HEY Y'ALLLLL Sorry I've been missing for a bit. Hope Ya Didn't Miss Me!". Well I've been missing for a while and that's exactly what I'm not going to do.

Oh heck the song's changed. Kings of Leon - just to keep you updated.

I actually hate them messages. Well. I have a mild dislike for them. For starters most of the lame people who do it have been gone about 20 minutes and think that just because they got one message one time saying someone thought their half witted sentences were pure genius -instead of the illiterate rubbish that is actually posted- it means they're famous. I'm fairly sure I'm not the only one who doesn't miss someone from the interweb after they've not posted for a bit and I'm fairly sure that they themselves don't miss anyone so why do they do it??

"Soz guys I'm in California this week-end, I'll still try to tweet! Luff Ya"

*vomit* No-one cares.

But what's the point of this blog post I'm still reading? I hear you cry.

Well, basically, a friend of mine has started blogging and I remembered how much I enjoyed it. That is all. So here I am.
I stopped blogging because it became a chore. I felt guilty if I didn't post regularly, and I felt guilty if what I posted was complete utter drivel and so it was hard to get a balance, not that you really care, as we have already established.

"Just so you knaaooww" How appropriate. Thank you Kings of Leon.

Also, if you've read any of my other posts, you may have noticed that my tone AND style have changed. Meh, it's been a year, I'm a different person. I hope you like this me better. If not? BooHoo.


I'm changing my name because online you can just do that. Oh, and the blog name, yep. Bye bye Young Freedom, hello 2012.

Awkward Donkey Out.