I'm Just Popping To The Store Love, We've Run Out Of Awkward Teenagers.

BICYCLE BICYCLE BICYCLE

So, I was at school today and a girl walked past in the corridor shouting and it made me realise quite how stupid some people really are. At school you have a wide range of people all forced to get along while they make that awkward transition from a child to an adult. It's basically like the place you are forced to go everyday because there is nowhere else to 'store' you. You spend all day wasting time until you can get home and waste time preparing for another waste of time day, until it's the weekend, when you waste all of your time because realistically, when you take out the hours needed for eating sleeping and social networking - which is obviously of vital importance - what can one achieve in just two days of holiday? Basically, my point is, school is just a place where you waste 5 years cooped up with some of the most awful human beings on the planet as they make crude jokes and prey on the weakest whilst trying, and failing miserably to make themselves look good in front of the strongest.

SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE

So anyway, there are some people at school, and you'll probably recognise the type, who think they are the coolest people who have ever graced the planet with their presence. These are the people who backchat teachers, are rude to their friends, vandalise and just generally run a riot. They're the kind of people who end up with a broken nose and a black eye the minute they get to college. They think that they're about 36 years of age and that smoking is the coolest thing since Elvis. The girl in question was one of these kind of people. She went stomping down the corridor and bellowed:

"Oh my Christ ! I need an effing lemsip."

I'll wait whilst you read that again. .. A lemsip? This was her way of asserting her authority amongst her friends? A lemsip.

HERE I STAND, LOOK AROUND

For a start, her plan to make herself look like Mrs Lord Chavvy McChav Chav Pants failed because she ended up just quoting the mum from Gavin and Stacey.
Secondly, a lemsip. I don't even think I need to expand. I mean, a fag or something? Maybe. But a lemsip?? - Yes, that even deserved a double question mark.
Thirdly, was it really necessary to add half a swear word into that sentence? She's obviously one of them people who are new to swearing and so just swears inappropriately at every single oppertunity at the expense of their reputation, and everyone else's sanity.

To my surprise, her 'friends' seemed to be impressed?

So look out everyone, lemsip, coming to a street corner near you. Keep your kids at home there will be paracetamol addled teens littering your street, but at least they won't complain of having a headache.

Awkward Donkey.